I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
