Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
