Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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