No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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