So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
