I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
