Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
where are my eyebrows?
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