I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
