Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
