She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
