I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
