She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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