All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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