You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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