Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
