I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
