I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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