Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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