your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
