I bet he comes in French.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
