they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize