Screwed.edu
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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