But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
