im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish you could order shots online.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't notice because vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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