Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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