who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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