i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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