Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
