He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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