if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
