Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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