8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
