party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
