Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
