I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize