Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize