hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
