White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
