Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize