I'm so fucking centered right now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
