my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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