found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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