did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
