It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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