This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
