moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
