You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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