You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
