well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
