plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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