So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
