Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
