dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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