I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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