By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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