So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
