Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
