Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
