if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
