Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
