i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
